21 things a 21-year-old senior in college actually wants for Christmas

Well, December is here. The time has come to scribble (or email) out those Christmas lists, folks, and our parents really need the guidance. Gone are the days of circling toys in the Toys R Us catalog on early Saturday mornings. We now need to be much more detailed in our requests.

Clothes? I hope you liked the way Bieber and Miley dress, because they are mom’s new reference for teens.

Money? Be prepared for a $20 in a Christmas card and a 3-pack of gum under the tree.“I don’t know, whatever you guys think I need.” I’m not going to actually delve into the serious issues this could cause on Christmas morning, but cross your fingers for gift receipts.

Luckily I have compiled the Christmas list of all Christmas lists.Are you the student? Send this to your parents. Are you the parents? Look no further, I have answered all questions when it comes to your holiday shopping.

Any of the following items are acceptable to find under the tree Christmas morning:

1. Groceries
We will also settle for money to buy groceries, but it’s hitting the end of the semester so chances of our cabinets being empty are dangerously high.

2. A job
We want to get a job just as much as you guys want us to get one. We promise.

3. The freedom of not having a significant other and not being questioned for it
Yes mom, I get that I haven’t had a boyfriend my entire collegiate career. Just assume I’m single unless I tell you otherwise or drop dead – whichever comes first.

4. A gift card to Target
When we say gift card, we mean an endless gift card. That refills itself. Target is never wrong.

5. Our own Netflix account
Thanks for letting us sponge off you mom and dad, but now that you use the internet all the time (like the hip parents you are) you’re kind of slowing down the queue.

6. A refresher course over basic U.S. government
We are not prepared to post Facebook status on top of Facebook status about how terrible the government is, like adults do, without this. Then again it seems that most adults haven’t taken the refresher course, so maybe we can hold off on this one.

7. Spotify/Pandora Premium
Because when was the last time I downloaded a song off the internet? 2001, that’s when. Just let us have the premium account and stop seeing those purchases come up on your cell phone bill.

8. The newest cell phone we can upgrade to right now
In about five months we will be forced onto our own cell phone bill. There is barely a chance we will be able to afford that, let alone the new phone that goes with it.

9. And understanding of what a 401k is
I have nothing to say here because I literally don’t have any understanding of a 401k.

10. A 401k
I assume we will want one of these. Talk to me when I know what it is.

11. Not to be asked what our “plans” are after graduation
If we get a job or an internship or a fellowship or a cool opportunity – I promise we will be the first to tell you. As of now, my plans after graduation include dinner with you and celebrating with my friends.

12. Nap time, again
What were we thinking in preschool, denying the nap and cursing its name? We take it all back.

13. Approval on our cover letter and résumé from every employer on the planet
Everyone is looking for something different, yes. But if they could all just come together and decide exactly what they want to read in our cover letters and see on our résumés that would make our spring semester a hell of a lot easier.

14. A giant, all expenses paid, life-changing trip
Probably Europe would be best, but we can work with you on destination so long as the funds are covered.

15. To be a freshman again
Remember the good ol’ days? I just wanted to take a moment to remember the year core classes didn’t matter and we made ten new friends a day. Ah.

16. New shoes
Shoes seem very trivial, but we have spent the last four years trekking across campus in heat, rain, sleet and snow. It’s time to replace what has been broken.

17. A real-life, human, functioning car
It’s funny to be the kid with the squeaking and leaking car in college. Not so much at work. Please help.

18. Food
Seriously – don’t underestimate the gift of food. *See groceries

19. One, singular email address
AOL, Hotmail, Gmail, Yahoo, school email. TAKE THEM ALL. I only need one way to get coupons and grandma’s yearly emails.

20. Someone (continuing) to do our taxes for us
Until two years ago we didn’t even do taxes. Can we claim ourselves as a dependent? Because we definitely are.

21. Unconditional love – Even on the horrible off chance we don’t get a job immediately and can’t move out of your home, that has housed us for the past two decades, right away. We don’t want it much more than you guys do, but just in case.

I hope this helps everyone in their Christmas shopping endeavors. It’s a daunting task but someone (parents) have to do it.